


Modern Family

by emperoxgrayland



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Marriage of Convenience, Surprise Baby, adopted baby, mentions of domestic violence and abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:15:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22798441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emperoxgrayland/pseuds/emperoxgrayland
Summary: She looks at the sleeping bundle cradled in Rose's arm and the letter that might as well have signed her death sentence.Dr. Rey Kenobi and Dr.Ben SoloThe envelope had shaky writing, as if the user had just learned to write. In many ways she had.I remember you from clinicYou will care for her.Thank you. Sorry.Jannah---Dr. Rey Kenobi was just another burnt out surgeon trying to find meaning in her life. Her work at the Coruscant Free Clinic gave her that until Ben Solo, her classmate, nemesis and once upon a time best friend and love of her life, walks in the door with her. Add in a pregnant patient who she can't help because the law forbids her to - Rey feels like her life is falling apart.Then one day the worst happens. Her patient dies, and leaves Rey and Ben her daughter behind. She may not have been able to help her mother, but she will damn well sure help this baby - who reminds her so much of herself. Even if it means marrying Ben Solo, and pretending to be his devoted loving wife just to be able to do so.(Or the one where Rey and Ben need to get hitched so they can adopt a baby no one would entrust to workaholic doctors)
Relationships: Mild Armitage Hux / Rose Tico, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 7
Kudos: 34





	Modern Family

She looks at the sleeping bundle cradled in Rose's arm and the letter that might as well have signed her death sentence. 

_Dr. Rey Kenobi_

_Dr.Ben Solo_

The envelope had shaky writing, as if the user had just learned to write. In many ways she had. 

_I remember you from clinic._

_You will care for her._

_Thank you. Sorry._

_Jannah_

_\---_

It started a six months ago. Rey had started volunteering for a local shelter, give them medical check ups try to refer them to organizations. She was a brain surgeon, but lately her job, her life, it had all been a question of too much. She didn't like what she was doing anymore. She was burning out. And she needed to be reminded of why she did all this in the first place. 

Signing up for Doctor's Without Borders and getting sent into an active war zone seemed to be too big of a decision for a sudden itch and discontent in her career. She needed to think about it, so she started small, at the local clinic. 

She should have gone to war instead. 

To her surprise Ben Solo followed her to the clinic. 

Ben and her shared... a history. 

Which is simply to say she liked him and he didn't. 

She spend the next three years pining for him and he let her. 

And then she finally just got... tired. Of him stringing her along. Because now years later, she knows it for what it was. Ben knew she liked him, everyone knew she did and he let her just love him, and gave nothing in return. 

Then he gaslighted her. Said that she was too much. That she made him uncomfortable. That she hung around too much and put in too much effort. That he'd like for it to be a little bit less.

And she asked him point blank what he wanted because honestly, that was confusing - what the actual heck was less? And she just, stayed angry. After that. Because the reality of it is she was angry he didn't return her feelings and wanted to enjoy the perks of it. She was angry that he treated her like shit because he can, because she'll let him. 

She's angry because she didn't mean more. 

And she was even angrier and hurt and ashamed in the end when he ended it. When he said she wasn't worth this. When he said he didn't want to do this anymore. 

He broke up with her. 

Whatever this relationship was.

After everything that happened. 

He was the one who broke it off and walked away. 

And she had to work with him because she was a scholar and she had a bond and fucking Ben Solo who could move anywhere chose to stay. 

And she hates it. Hates this, and it's probably why she hates her job, and now he was here, where she was scouting out her future life as maybe a Doctor in a warzone. 

He wasn't necessarily in her service. He was an orthopedic surgeon. He liked knees and hips. So she didn't really interact with him much - tried to run and avoid that as much as possible. 

But he's here, in her space, on her shift, on the thing that was supposed to give her life meaning again, because of course he was. 

She doesn't speak to him at all on the first day. 

\---

It's easy to slip into a rhythm with Ben. It happened four weeks after they both started working on the local clinic, always somehow on the same shift, every Saturday from 8AM to 12. But she stays until 5 sometimes. She doesn't know how he makes it. He's always out drinking every Friday with the Falcon crew in med school. 

A band she briefly joined during their... relationship if you could even call it that. 

She doesn't really like any of them. They were backstabbers the lot of them, and part of the reason why she and Ben would never work out. He cared too much what they thought of him and she was just done with all of it. 

Jannah comes in the clinic then, a tiny slip of a waif and three months pregnant. She had bruises over her arms, and a blooming black eyes. 

She physically shrunk when Ben approached her, and she was in the consult room then with a mom and her kids riddled with the flu, giving the shot. 

"Dr. Kenobi?"

He knocks on her consult room door, voice scratchy and apprehensive. They haven't so much as spoken to each other since... they had the big fight in the last year of medical school. 

"Dr. Organa-Solo. I have a patient."

He shuffles on his feet, and gestures outside. 

"Yes, but... I need a chaperone."

It was too reminiscent of how they first became close, of how they first became Ben and Rey. 

She swallows her emotions and turns to him. 

"Give me fifteen minutes to wrap up then I'll join you."

He nods and closes her door. 

\---

"I know it's weird but we have to work together. I have to be able to talk to you."

"I know that, and you can."

"It's weird to call you Dr. Kenobi."

"Then it's Rey. I don't care. Just... let me do my job."

He looks at her for a long moment and nods his head. 

"I heard you were thinking of signing up. For Doctors Without Borders."

He never asked her anything anymore. She remembers the last time he did, before she went on a date with Matt, this pilot in training she met online. She remembers how awful that went. 

"Yeah. How did you hear?"

"Luke was obviously upset. He doesn't know why you're throwing your residency away."

"I'm not! I just... I want a change. This isn't... it's just not the life I imagined Ben."

He scoffs and rolls his eyes. "Of course it's not."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asks an edge to her voice. 

Ben clenches his jaw, looks down at his phone and sighs. 

"I just mean that you always do this Rey. You always live in a fantasy world where everything is a movie. Life's not like that. Medicine is not always about life or death situations. Sometimes it's about health. You can't say you want to treat people who are terminal and dying and dramatic all the time. That's not how this works."

She feels the familiar surge of anger. After all she has done, all she has accomplished, he only ever sees her as a child. 

"Well I'm sorry Ben, if all I want is a movie life. With meaning and purpose. I'm sorry if my ideal weekend is actually feeling good about something I did and not flat out wasted and dancing to the same song every weekend at The Falcon!"

He sees her take in her words, the familiar mask shuttering his face. 

"Okay, if that's what you think."

"It is!" She snaps and turns around. 

She shouldn't have thought things would change. Ben was Ben, and she would do well to remember that. 

\---

They work in relative ice. 

Ben would never apologize. When he fought with Phasma in their second year, over something as simple as his lanyard, they never quite recovered from that. 

And she knows, she and him will never recover from this as well. 

But it does get easier. 

They'll never be the friends they once were, never that ever again. But she can say his name now without it feeling like a barb stuck in her throat. 

"Ben?"

She strolls in his clinic in time to see him yawn wide and stop halfway when she walks in. 

"Yeah?"

"I have a kid who I'm 100% sure has some form of ligament tear in the knee but as my Ortho posting was the shits I think you should take a look."

"Sure, you forgot how to assess a knee Kenobi? I expected something greater from a neurosurgeon such as yourself."

She snorts and walks out of the clinic, calling for the next patient to come in - that was the first time they joked about anything in four years. 

\---

"You have options, you know that right?"

She had a broken wrist, and more bruises on her skin than ever, and they were legally obliged to report it to the police, but Jannah kept stopping them. 

"Finn's not a bad man, it's just a bit of a tough time, that's all."

Legally, and she already consulted the clinic's lawyer, she can't make a complaint when her patient is refusing it. She wasn't under coercion and she won't admit to the abuse. She would break HIPPAA and maybe potentially get her license suspended if she called it in. And she understands that Finn must be the breadwinner and her reporting him won't make Jannah's life easier. 

Especially now that she has what looks like a fractured bone. 

"Jannah, I know you only want female doctors, but this is not my specialty. But it is Dr. Solo's, and I want you to get the best care possible. I would bring him in here for a consult okay? I'll be here the entire time, and... Ben's a good man. He's one of the best I know. He won't hurt you."

She nods and Rey steps out to let Ben inside. 

"Hi Jannah. I'm Dr. Solo."

He extends his hand, and Jannah shrinks before perfunctorily shaking it. 

"Hi."

"Dr. Rey here tells me you had a fall? Can you tell me how it happened?"

"I just fell."

There was a bite to her words and Ben nods, understanding, sitting in front of her, to be at her level, giving her a grin in the process. She huffs, because like this, she's reminded of the Ben she fell in love with. The soft Ben, that was soft on his patients, loved by them, and the Ben who truly cared for them. She hates it. Hates him, for making her feel this way. 

"I know, but I need to know exactly how. Were your arms in front of you?"

He demonstrated falling on his outstretched arms and the image of the big hulking doctor in his white coat was enough to make Jannah laugh and relax a little. 

"Yes. Like that. Then I felt pain and my arm swelled."

Ben nods and turns to her, the smile on his face but she can see the same turmoil in his eyes. Eyes she knows as well as her own face. She stared into those eyes multiple times.

"Did you get an X-Ray, Dr. Rey?"

"I wasn't sure... with a pregnant woman. But I think it's a Galeazzi."

Ben nods and sighs. "Jannah, I think Dr. Rey is right. That means you have to go to the hospital, and get a limited X-Ray only over your arm to protect the baby. And we might need to do surgery."

"Surgery? I... I can't... no hospitals... this was supposed to be a safe clinic, I-"

Jannah fidgeted in her seat, and Rey stood beside her and took her unbroken hand in hers.

"Hey. Hey. It's okay. You don't have to... but we need to get an x-ray, okay?"

"There's a private radiologist, not at the hospital. She can help us. I can take you there."

Jannah fidgeted again and Rey sighs. "I'll come. I'll come with you, okay?"

\---

Maybe because she was 19 and alone and scared and she reminded her of herself, of what would have happened to her if Obi-Wan Kenobi did not adopt her. 

Maybe because she was 19 and abused that Ben started chattering from his seat. He does that a lot. Fills the empty silence. Even when they were together. He would do it with their cab driver, their friends, anyone. 

"Did you hear about Dr. Rey's epic housekeeping skills?"

"Excuse me?"

"You like her better because you think she's the better doctor don't you? Because she's the brain surgeon and I'm just a bone guy. But let me tell you, Dr. Rey doesn't even know how to do her own laundry."

"Hey!"

Jannah's wide eyes turn to her and she groans. "It was a long time ago, I-"

"You were 24, Rey and you don't even know how to operate a washer and a dryer."

"I did eventually do it!"

"By googling it! Rey. You had to google how to use a washer and a dryer. And you watched a video of how to do it!"

"Well you were of no help! I had to fold your bike shorts that you kept hanging around all over the kitchen!"

"You lived together?"

Jannah pipes up from her perch in the backseat and Rey realizes that she's back to her old habits, with Ben. 

She shakes her head and looks out at her window and Ben clears his throat. 

"For a while. It was a month. We went to Naboo for a program. It was a long time ago."

"It's nice. That you two are friends. And do this. You're nice people."

Jannah ends up having a hairline fracture instead of a Galeazzi. Ben puts her in a cast, and prays she won't return worse.

\---

They haven't heard from Jannah since. 

Until today. 

Today when the cops that responded to the call by the hospital board, searched for a Jannah Storm and found her dead in an alley, with thirteen stabs to her body. 

Finn Storm, her husband, was arrested three blocks from their apartment, high as a kite on cocaine.

He died from a heart attack three hours later.

Today when her 2 month old infant gets left behind in a basket by the hospital's doorway, addressed to her and Ben. 

"What's our options?"

"Well, you can always give the baby up to the system. You are in no contractual obligation to keep this baby, Dr. Kenobi."

She looks at her, in Rose's arm, asleep. Rose knew about babies, she was the OB-GYN person. She loved babies, she looked after them for a living. 

She liked babies to coo at, to buy presents for. She knew all her teammates's children, got them all Christmas presents. 

But... she can't raise a baby, on her own... 

_You were left at the junkyard as a kid. Good thing Obi-Wan was there that day..._

She can't also leave her behind. 

She was left, and abandoned and unwanted. God knows what would have happened to her, had she been left out in the system, had Obi-Wan not adopted her. She wouldn't be here, she'd probably have ended up just like Jannah. 

Just like the daughter she wanted to save from her fate.

You will care for her. 

And she will. 

"I can't. I can't do that. I was adopted. To leave her, like that, it's wrong."

"You can't be serious!"

Ben explodes from his perch on the wall, across his uncle, the Chief of Surgery as he looks frantically at Rey and the sleeping bundle. 

"You can't just keep a baby, Rey!"

"Yes. I can. Jannah trusted me with her-"

"You don't even know the first thing about babies!"

"I'm a doctor-"

"Who can't even wash her own damned clothes!"

"How DARE you?"

Their screaming wakes the baby up who started to whimper in Rose's arms before she started full on wailing. 

Rey shoots him one dirty look before cuddling the baby from Rose. 

"Hi."

She was good at this. Her stint at the Special Care Nursery was her favorite. 

"Hi sweetie. We're we noisy? Yes we were. How frightened you must be..."

Tiny tiny humans, she called them. Tiny humans who looked to her for everything. 

She held the baby she was shown before, the stable tripod Rafiki holding Simba kind of hold, and rocked side to side, the fussy baby now calming in her arms.

Rose patted her shoulders as she settled the baby against her chest. "You're a natural."

She grinned and looked down at the tiny face. Maybe... this was her purpose now. 

She smiles at her, the little girl plopped into her lap. 

They'll be alright.

\---

"I'm a neurosurgeon!"

"Yes, and that's exactly why the state won't see you fit to adopt her, let alone foster."

"But-"

"Tell me, Dr. Kenobi, when was the last time you were at home at 5 PM?"

Rey opened her mouth to answer, looking anxiously at the car seat beside her where the baby lay asleep. 

The social worker nodded grimly. 

"And when was the last time you left for the hospital before day break?"

Again... she can't remember. She was a resident. She was just... busy. She was always busy. 

"Do you have any family here?"

"My adoptive father passed, years ago. I have no other family?"

"And you're single?"

"Yes. No time to date."

"But you have time for a baby."

"No-Yes- Look, I know you think I'm the worst candidate for her. But you weren't in the system. You think it's all good? That all your foster parents are amazing? I loved in it for seven years, if my father didn't adopt me..."

She closes her eyes, thinks of Jannah, of the person she would have become. 

She blinks and stares back at the social worker. "I may be busy, but I'm going to be a better parent for her than anyone else." 

The social worker closes her notebook, sighs and shakes her head. 

"Dr. Kenobi, you haven't even named the baby."

She gasps, stricken, she's been with her for 2 days, and now they were going to take her away.

"I... I didn't- What do I do? How do I become a fit parent? I can get a baby sitter, my hours would not change but... I have the money, I have the resources, how do I fix this?"

"Have a family structure you can integrate her into. Make sure there's diversity, that there's someone of her color to guide her through, even though she lives with a white mother. Have a schedule, when you will be home, when you won't. Move out of your swanky high rise condo, and get something with a porch and a back yard where a little girl can ride a bike. Get character references from mothers. Parents. Her sitter should be a permanent live in nanny if you work a lot, someone highly qualified to be a secondary caregiver. If you were married it would be easier."

"Okay, I can maybe... I have some close friends, they can rally, we can give her family. Rose is Vietnamese, Poe's Latino. They'll guide her, they'll show her how to deal with this racist world. I can ask my Chief to give me the exact same schedule, my calls, my clinics, my routine won't deviate so I can be with her. Minimum 8 hours a day. I can hire a nanny. I'll join a mommy club. Moving might be tough... I can't afford to buy a house in the suburb. And I definitely, definitely cannot get married."

"It will be tough, Dr. Kenobi. I want you to know that."

"I'm willing to try anything once."

\---

"Are you seriously uprooting your life for this random baby, that was dropped into your lap?"

Armitage was stunned. Of course. 

"Yes. Armie."

"But Rey, this isn't even your kid?"

"She is now. I have to name her though."

Armitage turns to Rose waving his arms madly. "Tell her she's mad! She's dropping out of Chief Resident for this!"

"You're _what_?"

She ignores as Ben walks in the resident's lounge and juggles her bank account. With her nanny, a certain Threepio from the agency, who had all the starry live in nanny qualifications, her rent in a new brownstone in Brooklyn Heights with the backyard, all the furniture, movers... things were getting a bit tight. 

"I need to take a loan."

She groans, burrowing her face in her hands. Armie's eyes widened. 

"You can't! You're still paying off your student loans!"

Rey blinks and looks up to the high heaves and sighs. 

"Shit. I forgot to tell the social worker that. That makes it even more difficult."

Then she bursts into tears. And as usual, Ben Solo remains frozen. 

_I'm not good with tears, Rey. What do you want me to do? I don't know what to do? Comforting - that's not me._

And she tries to run out, but of course Armie is there, and of course Armie's arms are open, and he's strong, and broad and rubbing her back and his cheek was on her head and it was the same comfort he gave when Obi-Wan died, and Ben couldn't even be bothered to comfort her. 

"How can I help?"

Armie had always been there, and he's always been in love with Rose, who didn't really like anybody. 

"If you marry me that would be great."

She hiccups when her sobs die down and she's still clutching Armie. 

"Do you really need me to do that?"

He pulls her back and she raises her eyes to Armie, and knows he will. He really will if she needs him to.

And oh God, it didn't have to be forever, she just needed a roommate, not even a husband, and Armie has family and-

"No."

Ben steps in between them and pushes Armitage away, his back to Rey. He was... vibrating. With anger. 

"Ben it's not-"

"No. I should have known. I should have known you asshole."

"Ben, I'm serious!"

But Ben doesn't listen to him, and he turns back to Rey, a storm in his eyes. 

"This is my kid."

She scoffs because he didn't even want her, the baby. He didn't even look at her. 

"Jannah left her to me and you. Jannah wanted her to have a family. A stable one. Not one where you have to fight tooth and nail to get to keep her."

He was right. And Ben had the money, the stability. And his family-

"My mother will help us."

That was the final nail in the coffin. 

"Okay."

\---

Senator Leia Organa was a tiny woman, dwarfed in his son's arms. 

But when she turned to look back at her, and the tiny baby she cradled against her chest, she knew why this woman felled many a foe in the Senate floor.

"Rey, it's lovely to finally meet you. We heard so much about you, from Luke. And from Ben, back when you were together in Durham. It's a shame we never met."

She glimpsed at them from med school graduation of course, but at that point in time she and Ben were already strangers, again. 

"Hello, Senator Organa."

Leia waved her away and rolled her eyes. "Call me Leia. And this must be the little angel... have you named her yet?"

"It's been a crazy 48 hours, not yet."

Leia cooed at the sleeping baby in her carrier and motioned them to the kitchen. 

"Lunch is being prepared, I want to hear everything."

\---

"It's not an ideal situation."

"I know."

"Frankly, Rey - your financial situation is the shits."

She laughs and buries her head in her hands. 

"I know."

"When it was you alone, your salary can pay for the bills, and your debt, with a lot to save. But this is a baby, you need insurance, a bigger house, you need full-time help, not to mention lawyer fees and medical bills all the while still maintaining your original expenses. Even with Ben helping with household expenses... it won't look good."

"Mom. We know that. Don't stress her out more."

His voice had always been her comfort. Even in medical school he had been her constant source of strength. She leans on him now, even though she doesn't want to. 

"What do we need to do, how can you help? I can be the primary adoptee right? I can file the claim?"

"You're a single surgeon, your hours are as horrible as Rey and... Ben, the bar fights? The speeding? Your Ferrari? Every Friday spent drinking? It's really not a good picture for any of you."

Rey's eyes water again and she holds on to the baby's carrier tight in her hands.

Leia's eyes soften as Rey cradles her to her chest. 

"There is one way."

"Anything. I'll do it."

"You can marry Ben."

"I... what?"

"It's easier for married couples, the process is a lot shorter and the mother left you with a legally binding trust to her daughter. Ben's trust will be dispensed to him the moment he marries. You're doctors, and... Organa-Solos. It would look good at all fronts as opposed to a very busy workaholic neurosurgeon buried eyeballs deep in debt, and a bachelor spoiled rich kid who gets off on fast cars and booze. And then I can push on my end. It's how we package you both. That would clinch it."

\---

They marry that same afternoon, in his mother's office. 

She didn't even have on a dress. Her top had the baby's spit on it. 

Ben was in his scrubs. 

"By the power vested in me by the City of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife."

She signed the papers. 

He signed his end. 

They don't even kiss. 

Leia leaves immediately to file a referendum at court, to make sure the baby cannot be taken away from them, and filed their adoption claims, to be expedited at this very moment. 

It was kind of hard to not get that, when a United States Senator formally organizes everything for you. 

"Rey we need to talk-"

But the moment they do the baby wakes up from her carrier, and Rey sighs, picking her up. 

"Is there a place where I can heat her bottle?"

"I can do it."

Ben was already opening the carrier, where her tiny cooler held breast milk. 

Ben returns fifteen minutes later and gets the still crying baby from her, feeding her himself. 

"I scored higher at the Peds posting than you did." He said by way of explanation. 

And he did. He does. 

And she hated it then. 

And she hates it now, especially when Ben Solo fucking smiles his big megawatt dimple inducing smile at the tiny baby that was looking up at him in adoration, and gave fruition to every fantasy she had since she was 22 and she was sitting with Ben Solo in that call room, asking hypothetical questions. 

_What do you see yourself doing ten years from now?_

_Married to you, carrying your baby, starting a family with you. Washing our dogs in the sink. With the kid._

_We're not washing our dog where we wash food. And then we're not washing the dog with the kid._

\---

The Organa-Solo house in New York was nothing short of mansion like. 

She figures it would wow the social worker. 

There was full time help, and there was Han and Leia. 

There would be parents in the morning and evening to tuck her into bed. 

Adoption was a formality at this point. 

She was Rey Kenobi-Solo. In 72 hours her entire life has been lifted topsy-turvy. 

And now she was on a bed with Ben Solo, in a stained white shirt, baby spit in her hair, and the little one, who made all this mess, finally asleep in her new crib, dug out by Han Solo from the attic. It used to be Ben's. 

"We really should name her."

Rey muttered, eyes closed in exhaustion. It would be an hour more before she wakes up wailing once more. 

"Jenna."

"Hmm?"

"Her name. I wanted her to have something of her mom. Something of Jannah."

Rey felt the first tears drip down from her eyes, the enormity of the situation finally hitting her. 

She just married Ben. 

Her patient was dead because she couldn't legally report her husband to the law. 

She had a baby. 

She hadn't been to her job in 72 hours. 

Her life was not her own anymore. 

"Hey."

His arms wrap around her and she always loved his embrace, always sought it out back then, when she was scared and alone. 

She loved the way he can dwarf her, and the world vanishes as soon as she's tucked against his chest. 

"We'll be okay. We'll make it through."

"Ben. You're my fucking husband, how the fuck did this happen."

He chuckles, an air of hysteria in his tone.

"I know."

"What does this even mean for you? Like... fuck Ben we just got married. And now we have a kid."

"I know."

"I'm sorry I didn't even know if you had someone... you didn't even want her-"

"She's my kid now too. And there isn't anyone. I mean, I did try to look-"

"I know you have. You told me."

When they broke up. 

Or whatever that was. 

\---

Rey was tired, Ben had been avoiding her, not replying to her calls and her messages. 

And then she sees he goes out with her. Bazine Netal. The woman who told her Ben was just hanging out with her out of pity. 

Ben didn't bother denying it. 

"You've been really annoying these past weeks, Rey. You asked me if I don't like hanging out with you and maybe I don't. I'm just tired, Rey."

"Tired of what?"

"I don't know, what you want from me? You expect me to be your best friend, and you expect so much. And then I fall short. And you're disappointed in me. Maybe just don't expect anything from me. LIke, I don't know what you want from me."

_Love me. Stand up for me against Bazine. Tell her you like being with me. Tell her I'm your friend._

"Nothing. I want nothing from you Ben.I just expected you to be my friend. To defend me."

"I did stand up for you. I was on your side. Maybe just not as much as you wanted me to be."

That's when the startling realization crashes down on her head. He agrees. He agrees with Bazine. 

"You agree with her don't you? This is really what you think of me? A burden?"

"Rey, that's not what I mean-"

"You know Bazine is only saying this because she likes you right? And she sees me as a threat?"

"I don't care. I don't like her, and I don't like you. So why does it even matter, Rey? The issue is you don't trust me. We have been fighting about this for so long. And I don't have the time or the energy to do this right now. I don't see the point of a relationship if you can't trust me."

"Fine. I guess it means we're over."

"I guess it does."

She feels the tears clog her throat and she knows it's futile, she's tried to tell him so many times before, but he never acknowledges it.

"Armitage told me, to be careful with you. That I hurt you. That... you like me."

"No. Rey, oh my God, that's not what this is. If I liked you, I would have liked to think I would have treated you better. You know I have been looking Rey. You know I have."

She looks him in the eye. "Do you think I like you?"

"I don't know. I honestly don't Rey."

And she nods. That was answer enough. 

"Okay. This is goodbye then, Ben."

"Goodbye, Rey." 

\---

It was easy to become strangers again. 

She dated one guy after him, Matt, Radar Technician. He was fun, and he brought her to adventures, but he wasn't Ben. And that was the crux of the matter right, no one can be Ben. 

She remembers her first date with him, running late, and being stuck on an elevator. Mitaka asked her where she was going, and she can see Ben leaning in to her, listening. 

And she shook her head and said somewhere and Ben turns, dark eyes on her. "Yeah, where are you going?"

And she refuses to look at him, and answer, and conversation dies in the lift. 

And she shuffles out of there as fast as she can. 

\---

"I mean, Ben, I know you only married me for her. It doesn't have to mean anything. Once the adoption is final, we give it like a year, maybe 2, then we can divorce. And if you want to be in her life I'm happy to split custody, if not then you can give her to me. You helped us out, a lot. I don't want to derail your life, more than we already have."

There was something twisting in his gut when she said the word divorce, but she was right, this is what he was thinking of right? Just make the adoption easier, get her afloat, give her time to settle expenses. 

"I don't expect anything from you, Ben. You don't have to feel burdened with us."

She rises from her perch on his bed, and goes to the sleeping baby.

"You don't have to be here either, I can watch her, for the night. You have to go to work tomorrow."

"I want to be here, Rey. I know I panicked at first, but... you and... the baby, you're my family now."

"For now."

He swallows down the irritation that comes at her tone but nods. 

"Yeah. And I want to be here."

"For Jenna."

"You like the name?"

"Jenna Leia Organa-Solo. It's nice."

"You... you don't want her to be a Kenobi?"

"Your mother said it's easier this way."

She was right. Adopting a baby into the Organa-Solo family is a blessing. 

"Will... will you be changing your name?"

She stalls, stills. They had this conversation once. 

"No. I don't think so. I'll be Doctor Kenobi in 2 years. Why even bother. But Jenna will always be your daughter. So I want her to have your name. Your history. You did make this possible Ben. Without you, I wouldn't have been able to..."

The tears start anew and he wraps her in his arms again. "It's okay. We have her now. I have you both."

She burrows into him and holds tight, and he doesn't bother questioning why the thought of not having Rey here for him to hold is causing his gut to twist around uncomfortably. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was meant to be a one shot exorcise all my demons fic, that grew into a demon of it's own. So I'm breaking it up into 2 more chapters and walk away from it!


End file.
